I want to share my story with you

I want to share my story with you. Please just read and listen.

I would love to reintroduce myself to you. My name is Izadora Adriana Angela Germain and I am a sexual abuse victim. I am sharing my story with you all not to seek any form of sympathy but to simply share my story in hopes it may help someone who has been through the same thing or is going through the same thing. From the age of 5 to 9 I was molested by one of my cousins and then when I was ages 10 and 15 I was raped in my own home while my father was drunk (passed out on the kitchen floor) by family friends. Growing up wasn’t easy especially for a young woman like me who has such a voluptuous body. I was always cautious of who I was around, what I wore and what I represented to the public. I used my intelligence to help me suppress my depression and anxiety by getting involved in school activities and making good grades. I wanted to be seen for something other than my body since it was no longer sacred. By the age of 16 I was hospitalized for a back disability and was facing a coma. At that time, I thought I was going to die so I sat my parents down in the hospital and told them what had happened to be after seeking counseling from the therapist there. My parents was shocked but they believed me which was a relief. Moving forward, my parents and I kept open dialogue about things I was going through. Once I graduated high school and moved to Atlanta to attend Spelman College, my depression resurfaced. While at Spelman, I attempted to commit suicide 11 times. I thought of so many ways to kill myself, not because I didn’t want to live but because the pain I was going through alone was too much for me to deal with. I confined in a counselor on campus who helped me seek treatment. I was sent to a mental institution for approximately 3 months where I did extensive in-patient therapy. While there I was on 24/7 surveillance because I was still suicidal. Treatment wasn’t easy since my mother a Christian woman believed I didn’t have a problem and didn’t need to be there so family support especially in another state was slim to none. Eventually, I regained control of my mind, body and spirit through conversations with other patients, nurses and doctors. I was able to interact with the adolescent unit where I met a 5 year old girl who attempted to kill herself because her neighbor was raping her when her parents sent her there to play with his kids. She became my way out. I knew that I needed to fight for myself and her to make an impact on this world so those things wouldn’t happen to little girls like her anymore. Today, I stand before you as an empowered woman. A woman who is brave, intelligent, sexy, beautiful, needed, wanted, deserving, inspiring, witty, and loved. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. To all the women and men going through something, please do not be afraid to seek help, there is always someone ready to listen and help you get through it. Reach out to me if you want to talk (judgement free zone). I love you all and thank you for allowing me to share this with you.