I know that I am a good person and I’m currently doing what I can to better my life. But I must admit, I live with both doubt and fear. I fear I will never be successful, respected or accepted. I doubt people will ever fully understand me, for I continuously suffer with PTSD and bipolar disorder. I suffer dealing with military sexual trauma, for I was sexually assaulted 10 years ago. At times I feel I don’t do enough for my son, even though I try. The only true relationship I’ve been in – I eventually ruined it by cheating. I doubt if any woman will ever take me seriously, for there’s always something wrong with me. Either I’m too short, too light, not a thug, don’t make enough money, don’t have a great smile, too honest, or simply lacking confidence. I rarely got any friends, and most of my family and military comrades don’t fuck with me on a serious level. I apologize for posting this but this is how I’m currently feeling, and I can’t no longer hide it. It is only by the grace of God that I’m still alive today, because I truly don’t know who Anthony Eric Sarpy Jr. is anymore.

By:Anthony Eric Sarpy Jr.